The In Between

Being a planner has always had many benefits for me. If someone were to ask me what I am doing the third weekend of July I could easily tell them because I actually plan my life that far out in advance. We do things at 100 mph in the Carr house. We aren't super spontaneous because we most likely already have something planned. We're either all in or not at all. We are away from our house most weekends because we want to be the friends that are in pursuit of being intentional. I love the way that my husband and I live our life. I love that we are so busy that our pile of clean laundry is a far away dream from being folded. It brings me peace knowing that we love others well and that we put more miles on our vehicles than your average American family does.

Our summer calendar is already packed so full that I feel like the warm weather is right around the corner, even though the groundhog says that we have six more weeks of winter coming our way. We already have seven weddings on the agenda that we are attending as guests. SEVEN. Seven big weddings too - twin brothers, younger brothers, best friends - not skippable events. Weddings that deserve our fullest attention and celebration and best dance moves. And right there in the middle somewhere we're squeezing in a newborn. No biggie, right?

Just last night we got home from a trip to Fort Worth, Texas seeing family. And in March we're headed to the tip of Texas for what will most likely be our last childless vacation (that's scary to even think about). But while we remain busier than ever, I find myself typing this on the couch on a Monday morning while very jobless. Three weeks ago, for the first time in my life, I put in my notice at work without a clue as to what would be next. Don't get me wrong, I've obviously quit jobs before, but leaving a job out of the blue with no alternate source of income lined up is not something that has ever been on my bucket list. As a planner, I can tell you that I never had the intention of leaving a job only 4 months before my husband and I are planning to welcome our first child to the world. However, I just knew somewhere deep down that it was the next step.

So I sit in this season of unknown. A season that I have never been in before. At least a season that I have never felt comfortable in. But here I wait - the planner with not a single plan as to what is next. And yet I know that the Lord is taking this time in my life and working something within me because I feel extremely at peace about only having house chores to do and dogs to walk. I'm feeling very grateful for this new sensation of just being and holding steadfast in the Lord's promise.